The Myth of ‘Not Enough’ and the Magic of Self-Acceptance
- Katrina Steel
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
By Katrina Steel
We live in a culture addicted to improvement.
From the moment we wake up, we’re flooded with messages about how to be better, do more, heal faster, rise higher. It’s easy to internalise the idea that if we’re not actively transforming, we’re falling behind. That if we still feel confused or tired or tender, we’re failing.
But the truth is far more human, and far more kind:You are not broken. You are in the process of becoming.
The Lie of “Not Enough”
“I’m not enough” is one of the most common, and corrosive, beliefs I encounter in therapy. It manifests in endless ways: perfectionism, people-pleasing, avoidance, burnout, chronic self-criticism.
Most of us learn this belief early. It may not have been said aloud, but we felt it — in the moments we were dismissed, punished for having needs, asked to be different, or only celebrated for achievement.
And over time, we began to equate worthiness with performance.We stopped seeing ourselves as inherently valuable, and started seeing ourselves as projects to be managed.
The Psychology of Resistance
Psychologically, we know that suffering intensifies when we resist what is.Not because the experience is unbearable, but because the story we tell ourselves about it creates additional pain:
“This shouldn’t be happening.”
“I should feel differently.”
“I should be more healed by now.”
These thoughts don’t motivate growth, they deepen shame. They create a wedge between who we are and who we think we should be.
But when we release resistance, when we allow ourselves to be where we are, as we are, we meet the truth of the moment with compassion instead of critique. And that’s when things begin to shift.
You Are Allowed to Be Here
You are allowed to be in process.You are allowed to not have all the answers.You are allowed to feel tender, undone, halfway there.
In fact, this is where most of life happens: not in polished perfection, but in the raw, unfiltered in-between.This is the place where self-trust is built. Where inner safety is formed.Where love becomes unconditional.
From Striving to Self-Belonging
A client of mine once said,
“I feel like I’m constantly trying to catch up to who I think I should be.”
And I asked,
“Who told you that where you are right now isn’t enough?”
That question often lands with silence. Because no one ever explicitly tells us, and yet the message is everywhere. So we keep striving. We attach peace to a future version of ourselves who is more productive, less emotional, more sorted.
But healing doesn’t happen through striving. It happens through belonging, to our own hearts, in this moment.
The Magic of Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is not giving up. It’s not apathy. It’s not complacency.It’s the foundation of true, sustainable growth.
Research consistently shows that self-compassion, not self-judgment, leads to greater resilience, motivation, and emotional well-being. When we treat ourselves with warmth and understanding, especially in moments of struggle, we create an internal environment where healing becomes possible.
When you stop fighting yourself, you create space for self-love to rise.
A Gentle Practice
This week, if you feel the pull to judge yourself or rush your process, try this:
Final Thoughts
We don’t need to be “better” to be worthy of love.We don’t need to have it all figured out to be at peace. We just need to come back again and again, to the truth that who we are, in this moment, is enough.
You are not broken. You are human. And you are becoming exactly who you were always meant to be.
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